Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.

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  (714): i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/3dga
  Replies (12) Good night (649) Bad night (3610)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".

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  (403): I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby". http://tfl.nu/2blo
  Replies (49) Good night (685) Bad night (3430)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.

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  (606): i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer. http://tfl.nu/0wtr
  Replies (20) Good night (3903) Bad night (2460)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.

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  (+44): The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself. http://tfl.nu/y3oz
  Replies (4) Good night (899) Bad night (2118)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.

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  (504): Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later. http://tfl.nu/kqj9
  Replies (9) Good night (1649) Bad night (1388)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on

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  (540): i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on http://tfl.nu/ddt2
  Replies (1) Good night (1322) Bad night (646)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?

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  (610): At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again? http://tfl.nu/9wdz
  Replies (10) Good night (3438) Bad night (887)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!

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  (210): im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!! http://tfl.nu/zroi
  Replies (36) Good night (1329) Bad night (2108)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.

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  (302): This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy. http://tfl.nu/3zpx
  Replies (2) Good night (891) Bad night (359)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo

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  (980): Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo http://tfl.nu/82bd
  Replies (1) Good night (977) Bad night (419)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.

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  (410): well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you. http://tfl.nu/1rtw
  Replies (5) Good night (714) Bad night (342)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.

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  (520): We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me. http://tfl.nu/rcmo
  Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (1139)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS

  (845): View more from New York

  Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.

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  (201): SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS (845): Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings. http://tfl.nu/tkia
  Replies (8) Good night (1059) Bad night (468)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.

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  (864): He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal. http://tfl.nu/lm83
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (480)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions

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  (301): At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions http://tfl.nu/y4pr
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (275)

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