No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol