im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0