I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?