what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
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It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
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you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO