Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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