4 words: hood of his car
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
