dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
