watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
