exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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