Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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