Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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