me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
