yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
