I'm sorry my penis didn't work
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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