spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
