I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
