ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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