yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
