I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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