just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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