Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
