Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
