Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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