Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
