Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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(432): View more from Texas

From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention

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(330): View more from Ohio

theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.

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(876): View more from Jamaica

After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone

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(913): View more from Kansas

It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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(713): View more from Texas

Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.

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(302): View more from Delaware

That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure

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