Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
