Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
