I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
