I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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