the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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