You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
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These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize