you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
