Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize