Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
