Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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