Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
