Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
