Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
