Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
