her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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