My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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