you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
