you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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