I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
