Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
