Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
