I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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