I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize