hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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