we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
