so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
