There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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