She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
