I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize