her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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