i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize