That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize