singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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