Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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