oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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