you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
