Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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