a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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