worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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