Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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