my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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