Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
