Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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