the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
