I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Come see our sink grown plant.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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