This is not my ceiling
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
