I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
