so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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