um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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