it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
