no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i was born a porn star she said
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
