ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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